Two Texans Die Trying

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2019 Darwin Award: Two Texans Die Trying


Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of
evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene
pool–by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Two Texans Die Trying

2019 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

Charcoal sketch of a raising drawbride, sailboats in the background. (24 May 2019, Louisiana) Like ill-fated Madame Curie, may their experiment be a warning to you, my
South of Lake Charles, Black Bayou Drawbridge was CLOSED to cars
and OPEN to boats. Evidentially this was an irresistible Friday Night
challenge to Texas Man (32) and Texas Man Two (aged 23).

The Chevy Cruze stopped on Black Bayou Bridge, and a Texas Man emerged and
PUSHED UP the safety gate for the DRAWBRIDGE !!! His second mistake was to
JUMP BACK IN as the driver accelerated rapidly up the open drawbridge ramp,
thinking, “Shoot the gap!”

You cannot live long if the road’s IQ is higher than your own. In this IQ test, our Double Darwin winners failed; indeed they set a new low. Because these Texas Men–unlike the Blues Brothers–lacked “Cop Tires. Cop Engine. Cop Suspension, and a Mission From God.”

A witness observed a passenger emerge and push up the arm of the safety
gate, then get back in while the driver backed up a bit and accelerated
hard over the dra-bridge edge. Over the bridge and through the waves, our
DOUBLE DARWIN WINNERS paved new ground, and demonstrating a new “dead end”
leading off the path of evolution.

The Shoot-The-Gap tragedy happened at 2AM. The car sank from sight, and it
was no easy task to locate the wreck. Louisiana state police divers
eventually located and lifted the vehicle with pontoons and recovered two
drowned bodies from the Black Bayou. Identities are identified in
this CNN
News article.

Double Darwin – a twofer! Take heed, and practice patience on the
drawbridges of life.

Reader Comments:
“Flukes Of Hazzard,” alternate title. -J.SMith
It was “Hold my beer,” now it’s “Hold my bier.” -B.Osborn
“Their problem is they weren’t blues artists from Illinois.” -J.D.Thompson
“That car has some serious airbags.” -R.How
“I hope the boat made it through OK.”B.Ryng
“Hollywood and Alcohol.” -C.Cotter
“Physics always wins.”
“They missed the boat – in two ways.” J.Crobaugh © 1994 – 2022

and CNN News
Submitted by: Nominus Inepta via FB

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