Red Evolution

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2017 Darwin Award: Red Evolution


Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of
evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene
pool–by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Red Evolution

2017 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(2017, Russia) A welder is in the evolutionary spotlight today. Vargas
(pseudonym) worked for The Enterprise for the Construction, Repair and
Maintenance of Highways
in Tselinnoe when he noticed how well a fire
extinguisher fits into a decommissioned artillery howitzer. Inspired, he
stuffed the fire extingusher down the barrel…

Trained to use the elemental powers of hot plasma, welders are normally not
daredevils but Vargus was determined to prove the old adage, ‘There are
old welders and bold welders but there are no old, bold welders.’
He charged the cannon with calcium carbide and water, a reactive
combination that produces acetylene welding gas…

The abused fire extinguisher exploded from the howitzer cannon, and pieces
of the payload brained the welder–whose head was conveniently located in
the ballistic trajectory of the shrapnel. In a fight between shrapnel
and an empty skull, shrapnel wins.

This brilliantly executed Darwin Award fatality was reported on the State
Labor Inspection website.
I refer readers with questions to that document,
as machine translations from Russian to English leave much to be desired.


Submitted by: Rostislav

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