Booze Cruise Loser

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2018 Darwin Award: Booze Cruise Loser


Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of
evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene
pool–by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Booze Cruise Loser

2018 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

Boston friends fondly confess that there ARE Booze Cruises. It’s a
thing. But for Aaron D., it’s a thing of the past…

(8 September 2018, Massachusetts) An evening Booze Cruise in Boston
Harbor led to the death of a 21-year-old man who was performing handstands
on the railing of the ferry. Ordered to “stand down” from the rail by crew,
acrobatic Aaron Dibella sneaked back up as soon as the crew turned their
backs. He was performing a maneuver described as “a type of vertical
pushup” when his hands faltered and he toppled overboard into the Boston

Perhaps he could not swim? The crew snapped into action, focused a
spotlight on Aaron, tossed him a life preserver, leapt into the harbor and
swam to within five feet of the booze-cruiser… but sadly he sank before
they could snag him. Coast Guard spokesperson Nicole Groll said, “We
launched all our assets” upon receiving the report of a person overboard,
but to little avail. His body was found by divers three hours later.

Young men feel immortal. They show off their physical prowess with rousing
confidence. Unfortunately their human mortality is all too real. May this
be a caution to others to reign in the confidence that leads to
catastrioge. There is a joke here about sperm and swimmers, but I can’t
find it.

RIP Aaron Dibella.

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